The Office cast debates if Kirk Cousins is a top 10 quarterback

Dwight, Michael, Stanley, and Kevin are gathered around the coffee maker in the Dunder Mifflin Break Room. Jim just finished reading a crazy quarterback ranking list from NFL Network Analyst Adam Rank that had Justin Fields ranked first in the NFC.

Jim is a little annoyed, so he feels like starting a football debate that got the office heated last month. It was so bad that Toby had to write Dwight up.

The Office/Kirk Cousins scene

Jim: So, I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m pretty sure Kirk Cousins is a top-10 quarterback.

Dwight: Absolutely not. He’s never won a playoff game. You can’t be a top-10 quarterback without winning in the playoffs.

Michael: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here. Who even is Kirk Cousins?

Stanley: He’s the quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings, Michael.

Michael: Ah, right. The Minnesota Vikings. I hear they’re really good this year with new management.

Kevin: I don’t know anything about football, but Kirk Cousins sounds like a made-up name.

Jim: Well, Kevin, it’s not made up. And he’s got the stats to prove he’s a top-10 quarterback. Pro Football Focus, who is very anti-Kirk even had him ranked at number 9 last season. Then in 2021, he ranked fourth in completion percentage, sixth in passing yards, seventh in touchdowns, and third in passer rating. He also threw only 13 interceptions, which was the lowest among quarterbacks with at least 30 touchdowns.

Dwight: Stats aren’t everything, Jim. You need to have the intangibles, like leadership and playoff success.

Michael: Speaking of intangibles, did you guys know I was almost a pro football player?

Stanley: Really, Michael?

Michael: Yeah, but then I got a paper cut and had to retire. It was tragic.

Kevin: Wait, Michael, are you saying you got a paper cut and it ended your football career?

Michael: Yes, Kevin. The injury was too severe. I had to give up my dreams of being a pro athlete.

Jim: Okay, well, back to Kirk Cousins. I still think he’s a top-10 quarterback. He has laid the wood for a long time in this league.

Michael: That’s what she said.

Dwight: I don’t agree, Jim. But I’ll tell you what, I’ll make a bet with you. If Kirk Cousins makes it to the Super Bowl this year, I’ll give you a month’s worth of fresh beets from Shrute Farms.

Jim: Deal.

Michael: Hey, guys, do you think they have paper cuts in professional football?

Everyone stares at Michael in disbelief.

Stanley: You know what, Michael? I’m gonna go ahead and say no. They don’t have paper cuts in professional football.

Kevin: Yeah, Michael, I think you might be confused.

Michael: Well, I guess I’ll never know what could have been.

The group goes back to their coffee and conversation, still not in agreement about Kirk Cousins’ place as a top-10 quarterback.

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